[L, diary, ephēmeris] 1) BLOG

Two of my three New Year's resolutions were completed yesterday, with a follow-up email to Maria Popova this morning, thanking her for the inspiration of my BEING ALIVE project. 

The effort was arduous, not just for the learning curve while using Mac's Keynote software, but for the tug-o-war emotions of taking time away from 'more important' commitments. Time that loved ones have begrudged not given to them, instead.

There is a difference between the Must Do activities that absorb time, and the Need To Do efforts that must steal time to fulfill the needs of our heart... for being an artist...following faintly glimpsed faeries...hearing wispy notes of woodland music...writing...dancing...dreaming...Creating.

I'm not sure there's any logic to explain why the latter is so important to fulfill that when we choose it, it feels like locking the door against an equally-important self--but it does. For the past week, it has been thus with that gestating file of photos envisioned to illuminate my world within Popova's literary world of artistry.

It has been done, now. To the best of my ability. And, today, recognizing that the grey skies are not responsible for my uneasy ennui, that it has been the post-partum blues of an 'empty nest' (if you will forgive mixing the metaphors?) haunting me, I accepted the situation. The beloved, long-nurtured vision was no longer mine to tweak. Closure was needed, new focus, and new inspiration.

I found it here, in Rosie Spinks post and I hope others will, too: 

"This morning began so radiantly, now it is becoming a gray day; but first there was a shining as from a brand-new, never used year. And the night was a bright, distant one that seemed to rest above far more than just the earth"

A Visitation

 by Tahlia Hunter

Patience visited me
And it reminded me
That good things take time to come to fruition
And grow slowly with stability

Peace visited me
And it reminded me
That I may remain calm through the storms of life
Regardless of the chaos surrounding me

Hope visited me
And it reminded me
That better times lay ahead
And it would always be there to guide and uplift me

Humility visited me
And it reminded me
That I may achieve it
Not by trying to shrink myself and make myself less
But by focusing on serving the world and uplifting those around me

Kindness visited me
And it reminded me
To be more gentle, forgiving and compassionate toward myself
And those surrounding me

Confidence visited me
And it reminded me
To not conceal or suppress my gifts and talents
In order to make others feel more comfortable
But to embrace what makes me

Focus visited me
And it reminded me
That other people’s insecurities and judgments about me
Are not my problem
And I should redirect my attention
From others back to me

Freedom visited me
And it reminded me
That no one has control over my mindset, thoughts and wellbeing
But me

And love visited me
And it reminded me
That I need not search for it in others
As it lies within me.