[L, diary, ephēmeris] 1) BLOG

"Hi Diane,
I recently came across this flier that I'd sent to my good friend Gordy, an artist in Santa Fe '93...my first Art Show with my 5'x3' tie dye paintings, and wrote:

  "My (13 mos older) Sister, Diane 22, made the flyer for me, with those audacious declarations!
  She was a Graphic Design Artist living in the "Art Heart" of San Francisco..."Haight-Ashbury"  Good times in the late  '60's Hippie Days. She was My inspiration....to be a professional Artist!
  She made a sign for a popular Restaurant on Haight Street with weathered 2x6x8 planks & the letters were raised nail heads...I was inspired....and vowed that I too, would make money with my Art!!!

Mostly, She inspired me,
because She was so confident & audacious!!"

All three of my younger sisters are artists of different mediums, and though I've been lax about adding Debra & Denise's work to the Co-Artist's tab, Donalie's sculptures are, along with her twin daughter's work.

This morning I read valuable advice from Nick Wignall's weekly newsletter and decided to add this blog post even if immediately on the heels of the previous one.  Why? Because I read his essay on being less self-critical and decided to bask in a bit of sisterly mutual admiration.

I had forgotten I'd created that poster for my sister's first art show but I remember her insistence that I participate in a group art show, which I did (my first and only; I'd stopped making etchings when we began building our boat, Pilar), but now cannot proudly post the one photograph of the event.

No matter. Here's the nail-sculpture sketch and finished project that Donalie referred to:

It is healing to be reminded of past accomplishments.

Fifteen years ago, I began this website for that very reason: my husband of thirty-four years had just died; I needed to see who I had been before there was a 'we' that was no longer. Eighteen months ago, my daughter died unexpectedly just before her fifty-third birthday. Grief and regrets, self-recriminations for the loss of a future together have dampened self-confidence...until now. 

THANK YOU, Donalie and Nick Wignal for the love and the great advice!

(0610 hrs) Thursday, May 11, 2023

“Forget your personal tragedy…”
—Ernest Hemingway—

“There’s no time for despair, no place for self-pity,
no need for silence, no room for fear.
We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal…”

“…A writer—and, I believe, generally all persons—
must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource.
All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely.
All that happens to us, including our misfortunes, our embarrassments,
all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art.”
—Jorge Luis Borges—

(0625 hrs) Tuesday, May 16, 2023

"Forget your personal tragedies..."

...or your exhaustion, your doubts, the overload...the physical infirmities that make printing these words slow and awkward, sometimes painful...the weariness...confusion...

I WILL make a blog post today. I will use the quotes from last Thursday's journal entry on May 11th.

If I can keep myself from elaborating (adding the perfect photo for every line quoted) then I might be able to stop sabotaging myself by attempting too much perfection, for too many commitments.

Posting something, anything, will start the momentum for creating successive posts.

(0613 hrs) Saturday, May 20, 2023

It didn't happen. Again. No blog post.

(1700 hrs) Monday, May 22, 2023

I did compose this blog post--finally--last night, Sunday, May 21st.

I was happy. Gratified. Then forgot to save/copy/paste before sending. Lost it.

It felt like one more personal tragedy. Are the gods deliberately thwarting me? Are they telling me it was a bad post? Don't do it?

(1745 hrs) - have saved/copied and pasted this draft, elsewhere. Warts and all. Will now post...and begin another.