[L, diary, ephēmeris] 1) BLOG

Two months ago the refinishing of PILAR's galley began.

It was a lengthy process of not just sanding and then a quick layer of paint, but of SEVERAL coats of paint or varnish to bulkheads, ceiling & lockers, then a SERIOUS stripping of galley countertop with proper sanding between eight coats of urethane. 

A lot of hard work for my workers, Yes, but having done the work myself more than once since launching, this time was unexpectedly the hardest on me!

This time, as I began removing photos that had been everyday companions for over thirty years, cherished faces of children and adults that held deeply meaningful places in my life, a clarity of how far the distance traveled since those faces were young, 

hit    

       me

                 hard!

Beyond those faded, still smiling faces captured in the green of youth, so complacently stilled for years in a single moment,  came a liminal vision of clarity:  the lives we'd had then, fruitfully entwined, had changed like falling autumn leaves. These children now had children of their own--even grandchildren.  Some were tenuously still in touch at the peripheral of their adult lives, but the connection with others had been lost.

Life had changed without full awareness of the extent. Mine, solidly re-established, encompassed another whole gaggle of children who also now have children of their own!  Until that moment of removing the photos I'd been locked into a time warp of widowhood. That moment presented a panoramic view of those photos, my life's visible history at the very far end of how far I'd traveled through Change. It was a forceful blow of reality--equally enthralling as poignant--but what was I to do with those precious photos? 

A friend once observed that there's an invisible rubber band connecting friends that aches painfully when stretched by distance. NOT returning the photos to their place of pride for thirty years was impossibly painful. 

Though stretched and frayed, the almost non-existent connection were still vital within each photo...

Ali & Keri, twin nieces spending vacations aboard PILAR,

grandson Sam on his grandad's knee to eat his dinner, and again at six years just starting school

two of Matthew (asked what he wanted for Hanukkah, his wish to have a Christmas gave him a bath-free week with us)

Stephan, twin sisters Stephanie & Sandra, other wonderful boat children

my daughter and her first son

my beautiful sister Debra with newborn Kelsey Diane

granddaughter Meg wearing the elephant pajamas I'd made for her because she loved elephants

Bill basking in the joy of our first morning of PILAR afloat

more family by love and by blood; cousins, friends, children of high school best friend

and another namesake child, Kaylee Diane.

How does one deal with discarding treasured memorabilia without feeling calloused; discounting, dismissive, cruel. A killer of good.

The galley refinishing has been completed but for a few locker doors to be installed, drawer handles replaced. The interval since removing the photos had not brought any resolution until my beloved cousin, the poet and artist, shared the start of a new journal. 

The photo above, at top of post, broke the impasse for starting to write. I could start with her words about change and see where it led.

Writing about her art in my own journal, mulling over the intention to post it and ask others for input for dealing with changes, brought a simple answer of my own. I can do both: The old photos can remain in heir entirety but captured within a single photo, included with the new!

Terrific, isn't it?

Delighted then with a further revelation, I remembered a previously written story composed at the end of one especially perfect day with the children in the pictures. Intended only as a no-frills account for myself, it exemplified the rich life as lived in a marina.

I will post it to follow this one...soon.